Day 3 – Weird things you do when you’re alone

Let's start by saying I am not alone very often. With a roommate and a boyfriend, my alone time is very cherished. Although I usually have so much to do, I always sit back and watch some Netflix. My current binge is Gilmore Girls, suggested by my best friend. I almost never binge-watch a series and finish it in one go, but with Gilmore Girls, all of that has changed. I want to be both Lorelai and Rory, and be their best friend. It's an emotional ride.

I certainly talk to myself – a lot – when I'm alone. I never have pants on. I get kind of sad sometimes. I don't eat. These are the weirdest things I can think of.

Talking to Myself –
When I say "I talk to myself", I mean I have straight up conversations with me, myself and I. I'll actually think of a story I want to tell Donovan or one of my friends, and tell the story to myself how I plan to tell them, even though I was there. Of course, once I do tell them the story, it comes out much different and less cool. I laugh at my jokes, ask myself questions and answer them. I like having company, and I am my best.

No Pants –
This one is self-explanatory. Let's get real, who actually like wearing clothes?

Sadness –
This one is very bothersome. If I'm alone for a certain amount of time, it's very likely I'll get incredibly upset. As I said earlier, I watch a lot of Netflix when I'm alone. I'm most motivated when I'm with Donovan, so no matter how much work I have, I don't do it when I'm alone, even though I have nothing else to do. Sitting in bed watching hours upon hours of Netflix can get pretty lonely, and I soon become unhappy. My stomach starts to hurt, my unsmiling face feels duller than usual and I cry very easily. It's incredibly frustrating, because on a good day, I love being alone! Whenever I'm keeping myself company, I have to remind myself to change the pace and turn off the TV, otherwise the rest of my day will be very sour.

Never Eating –
I absolutely suck at cooking and it intimidates me. When I'm alone, all my taste buds revert back to childhood and I live off of Oreos, cookie dough and Clif bars. Even when I have frozen meals, I have no desire for them! It's the most bizarre thing. I actually have cauliflower in my microwave that's been sitting there for fifteen minutes. Now that I've made it, the smell is making my nose crinkle up. I really love cauliflower, so this makes no sense to me. During the school year, I typically lose an abominable amount of weight because I only ever eat at Donovan's. It's an issue I'm trying to fix.

So, these are my weird things. I probably have many more that I'm not thinking of right now, or even things I don't realize or find odd. Alone time is great and important for the human mind. Get on it.

Day 2 - Write something someone told you about yourself you'll never forget

I'll start off by saying most of my past relationships were emotional (and horrible) to say the least. And I know, I know, every girl says that. But after two abusive relationships, I'm confident that my description holds true.

So, it was on of those assholes - the biggest, I might add - who said the following to me (or at least along the lines) after I brought up my best friend:

"You're still hanging out with her? You usually use people until they're unnecessary to you and move on to the next person who will benefit your needs."

This was a year after I had built up the courage to break up with him (but oddly enough, not to stop talking to him) and although my friends swore it untrue, it's been at the back of my mind ever since. I didn't even believe it myself, but the idea scared me. I found myself telling all of my closest friends and family how much they mean to me as often as I could without it being bizarre. I felt as though I had to prove to everyone, especially myself, otherwise. I suppose in the end, it either made me a better friend or just one who has too many heart to hearts.

On another level, that one text made me realize how very toxic my relationship with the Biggest Asshole was. Once I got over my crying fit, I blocked his number, deleted him off Facebook and cut off all ties to him. Surprise: at least back then, blocking a phone number doesn't work! His texts and calls still came through and it took all I had not to answer - and yes, I definitely slipped up a fair share. From that day on though, I never allowed myself to cry over his words or insinuations. I was on a good ride to deleting him out of my life forever, and I finally succeeded. He texted me one last time while I was cuddling with Donovan, and after my love sent a very passive aggressive message, I never heard from him again. And truthfully, my life has been so much better.

Although it was one of the harshest things someone has said to me, it really changed me for the better. I assured my friends knew how much I loved them and started actively ignoring the Biggest Asshole. Even though it took another year for him to officially stop bothering me, I'm happy the day finally came.

* I haven't been keeping up with my 30 day goals of writing/posting every day, only a few days in! I've been obsessively attending to my reading goals in the meantime.  I'm going to post two a day until I've caught up. *

Day 1 - What are your goals for the next 30 days?

Goals are highly important. They get you through life itself! I struggle making it to class, and it really helps to set a goal. At the beginning of each week, I think, “Okay, all I have to do is make it to this week’s classes. Don’t think about the rest of the semester.” Although this seems simply and impractical, it works surprisingly well!

So let’s see. My goals for the next 30 days. For one, this challenge! I want to be practicing my writing each and every day. I feel as though I’ve been losing my voice and imagination as I immerse more into college courses, and that thought is making me quite sad. I want this to change.

I’m also doing a 30 day yoga challenge, and I’ve set my mind on keeping up with it. Yoga is an incredible thing to make a part of your everyday routine. For me, it releases stress, allows time for myself, and seriously helps my body. I have a life goal of staying fit and flexible. I love and admire flexibility, and as I grow older, it’s slipping away from me. It is, however, still within my grasp and I’m determined to chase after it.

On a similar subject, my next goal will be exercise. Before I met my boyfriend, I was going through a difficult time and a tough depression. Normally, when I was depressed, I’d sit in my room and drink. This particular period though, I went to the gym. I made sure to go every single day whether it was 5 AM or 10 PM after hours upon hours of rehearsal. After having met my loving Donovan, I was spoiled. I was given compliments on my beauty hundreds of times each day, and in came my confidence, out went my obsession with the gym! But I have to remember that although I may be confident, exercising is a healthy practice to keep up and will benefit me in the long run. I’ve been trying to get back at least twice a week, hence why I feel it should be towards the top of my goals!

Some others I won’t embellish on are to keep up my reading habits (I’ve read three brilliant novels in the past 5 days), stop procrastinating, and do well in school! And if these goals work for the month of March, I hope to turn them into life goals! So let’s see how I do, friends. The month of goals starts now.

30 Day Writing Challenge

So, I've had an idea. I've found that I really need to practice writing, and in order to assure I do so every single day, I decided to do a 30 Day Writing Challenge. After researching challenges online, I compiled a list of the ideas that I liked the most, also using six my boyfriend thought of. So here it is:

Day 1- What are your goals for the next 30 days?

Day 2- Write something someone told you about yourself you’ll never forget

Day 3- Weird things you do when you’re alone

Day 4- How have you changed in the last 2 years?

Day 5- Person you like and why you like them

Day 6- Something that you miss

Day 7- Views on drugs and alcohol

Day 8- An area of your life you’d like to improve

Day 9- Things you want to say to an ex (eh?)

Day 10- A date you would love to go on

Day 11- 3 of your personality traits you’re proud of

Day 12- Things that scare you

Day 13- “What if” scenario you frequently think of

Day 14- Things you want to say to 5 different people

Day 15- Talk about your siblings

Day 16- 5 Places you want to visit and why

Day 17- Do you read? What do you like to read?

Day 18- Write about someone who inspires you

Day 19- Share something you struggle with

Day 20- Your last kiss

Day 21- Does your Zodiac sign fit you?

Day 22- Your current relationship

Day 23- If you had to randomly start living in another country, which one and why?

Day 24- If you could have one question answered, what would it be and why?

Day 25- If you could redo anything in your life, would you? If so, what would it be?

Day 26- Where do you want humans to be in 50 years?

Day 27- Where do you think humans will be in 50 years?

Day 28- If you could enter a vessel that completely protected you from the elements and any adverse conditions you might come across, what part of the world would you explore.

Day 29- What changed this month and what do you hope will change next month?

Day 30- What are your goals for the next 30 days?

*Subject to change*


Here starts my 30 day challenge!! Soon....not yet....

My writing is also quite terrible right now because on top of being high, my sister and her three really loud friends are playing Wii in the same room.

I'll be back soon with first day of writing!!!

You know you love me.
xoxo,
nerdynaturegirl

To Blog or Not To Blog...

Believe it or not, it's a pretty tough decision. There are a lot of factors. For one, do I have enough to even write about? Maybe I should take a class on this whole blog thing.

On top of knowing nothing about blogging (I find it cool that this has become an acceptable verb), do I have a voice? I love reading. It's my second favorite activity! (I don't know what my first is yet, so don't ask.) Every time - and I mean every. single. time. - I start a book, I say to my boyfriend, "I just love how he/she writes." I find it to be as important as the plot itself, if not more. Having a good and unique voice can turn a novel into a masterpiece.

So I suppose that determines my final decision. I simply adore writing. And although I have no idea what to do with my life regardless of being a second semester sophomore, I'm starting to think about journalism (preceded by Stage Management, Early Education, Psychology, and English). And what better way to find my voice than blogging? After all, it's basically like keeping a diary. Except I won't tell you my deepest, darkest secrets. Probably.

Stick with me here, friends. I'm only just beginning.

(I'm also more than aware I will probably never gain a follower. Don't laugh, imaginary readers.)