Day 2 - Write something someone told you about yourself you'll never forget

I'll start off by saying most of my past relationships were emotional (and horrible) to say the least. And I know, I know, every girl says that. But after two abusive relationships, I'm confident that my description holds true.

So, it was on of those assholes - the biggest, I might add - who said the following to me (or at least along the lines) after I brought up my best friend:

"You're still hanging out with her? You usually use people until they're unnecessary to you and move on to the next person who will benefit your needs."

This was a year after I had built up the courage to break up with him (but oddly enough, not to stop talking to him) and although my friends swore it untrue, it's been at the back of my mind ever since. I didn't even believe it myself, but the idea scared me. I found myself telling all of my closest friends and family how much they mean to me as often as I could without it being bizarre. I felt as though I had to prove to everyone, especially myself, otherwise. I suppose in the end, it either made me a better friend or just one who has too many heart to hearts.

On another level, that one text made me realize how very toxic my relationship with the Biggest Asshole was. Once I got over my crying fit, I blocked his number, deleted him off Facebook and cut off all ties to him. Surprise: at least back then, blocking a phone number doesn't work! His texts and calls still came through and it took all I had not to answer - and yes, I definitely slipped up a fair share. From that day on though, I never allowed myself to cry over his words or insinuations. I was on a good ride to deleting him out of my life forever, and I finally succeeded. He texted me one last time while I was cuddling with Donovan, and after my love sent a very passive aggressive message, I never heard from him again. And truthfully, my life has been so much better.

Although it was one of the harshest things someone has said to me, it really changed me for the better. I assured my friends knew how much I loved them and started actively ignoring the Biggest Asshole. Even though it took another year for him to officially stop bothering me, I'm happy the day finally came.

* I haven't been keeping up with my 30 day goals of writing/posting every day, only a few days in! I've been obsessively attending to my reading goals in the meantime.  I'm going to post two a day until I've caught up. *

Day 1 - What are your goals for the next 30 days?

Goals are highly important. They get you through life itself! I struggle making it to class, and it really helps to set a goal. At the beginning of each week, I think, “Okay, all I have to do is make it to this week’s classes. Don’t think about the rest of the semester.” Although this seems simply and impractical, it works surprisingly well!

So let’s see. My goals for the next 30 days. For one, this challenge! I want to be practicing my writing each and every day. I feel as though I’ve been losing my voice and imagination as I immerse more into college courses, and that thought is making me quite sad. I want this to change.

I’m also doing a 30 day yoga challenge, and I’ve set my mind on keeping up with it. Yoga is an incredible thing to make a part of your everyday routine. For me, it releases stress, allows time for myself, and seriously helps my body. I have a life goal of staying fit and flexible. I love and admire flexibility, and as I grow older, it’s slipping away from me. It is, however, still within my grasp and I’m determined to chase after it.

On a similar subject, my next goal will be exercise. Before I met my boyfriend, I was going through a difficult time and a tough depression. Normally, when I was depressed, I’d sit in my room and drink. This particular period though, I went to the gym. I made sure to go every single day whether it was 5 AM or 10 PM after hours upon hours of rehearsal. After having met my loving Donovan, I was spoiled. I was given compliments on my beauty hundreds of times each day, and in came my confidence, out went my obsession with the gym! But I have to remember that although I may be confident, exercising is a healthy practice to keep up and will benefit me in the long run. I’ve been trying to get back at least twice a week, hence why I feel it should be towards the top of my goals!

Some others I won’t embellish on are to keep up my reading habits (I’ve read three brilliant novels in the past 5 days), stop procrastinating, and do well in school! And if these goals work for the month of March, I hope to turn them into life goals! So let’s see how I do, friends. The month of goals starts now.