Let's Get Down To (Bloody) Business: Sea Sponges

WARNING: Do not read ahead if you are uncomfortable with vagina, sex and period talk.

The road to sustainability started with easy tasks and rapidly grew to so much more. I've always followed a green way of living – recycling, picking up litter, choosing to walk – but I was interested in more. I researched the most sustainable toilet paper, paper towels, baby wipes. Then I thought: What about tampons?

I quickly Googled "sustainable tampons" and came up with reusable tampons, cloth pads and DivaCups. I only recently started using tampons and never wanted to turn back to a pad. I didn't like the sound of a reusable tampon either – wouldn't it hurt if you're a little drier in there than usual? And DivaCups...these have always seemed strange to me! I am not a girl who is particularly familiar with my vagina. I don't enjoy sticking my fingers in there, and typically have great difficulty in doing so. I developed vaginismus – a condition that causes my vagina muscles to involuntarily tighten when putting in a tampon, fingers, a penis... – because of my anxiety over my vagina; it took 2 years of failed attempts to lose my virginity to the love of my life. So I told my boyfriend, "I want to be sustainable, but there are some things I won't be able to give up, tampons being one of them."

On a day of March boredom (probably sitting in class), I started researching sustainable hair products. Once realizing how simple the switch was, I donated my shampoo and conditioner to a family member who wasn't interested in homemade hair products and set to work on my recipe for No 'Poo methods. This is when my green living took a turn. I started using completely natural hair products, substituted toothpaste with coconut oil and have been using a homemade mouthwash. Once again, I found myself researching alternative menstrual products, determined to reduce my everyday waste, and came across a SEA SPONGE! This blew my mind. How was I expected to stick a sponge up my vagina?! Well, I researched for hours that day, texting my mom every fact about sea sponge "tampons" I came across.

In the end, I was convinced. My flow isn't as heavy as some, but I do go through a tampon about every 3-5 hours, producing a lot of non-degradable waste. They are also shockingly unhealthy for your body. The most common risk, toxic shock syndrome, always put me on edge, but I could never keep a tampon in for the full 8 hours without leaking, so it wasn't something I had to worry about too much. But then I read that using these products can cause cervical cancer, problems with fertility and many other risks due to the chemicals and materials used, not only in tampons, but in most disposable feminine hygiene products.

Sea sponges are completely sustainable, reusable (for 3-6 months), biodegradable and void of chemicals and inorganic material. The more I thought about it, the more I loved the idea. Sure, I would have to shove a sponge up my vagina and then wash the sponge out in the sink, but this meant I could go through my whole cycle without trying to hide the bloody evidence in my boyfriend's family's bathroom trash bin, using unnecessary amounts of toilet paper to bury everything. Through more research, I found they also absorb significantly more than a super tampon.

So I took the plunge. I ordered the medium size from Jade and Pearl, and they were in my possession before my next period started.

Day 1 – Obsessed. I had to trim the medium size slightly to make it more comfortable, but after wetting the sponge and pushing it in, I couldn't even feel it! I discovered it's a good idea to squeeze out all excess water from the sponge before insertion, otherwise warm water will be dripping down your leg and onto your pants during the process.

I got to my boyfriend's that night and wanted to wash it out, so I took it out (easy!) and ran the sink. TAKE NOTE: If a sink has any sort of clog, DO NOT WASH THE SPONGE IN THERE! Forgetting my boyfriend's sink is very clogged, I hid in the bathroom for about ten minutes in fear his mom or brother would come in to find a sink full of oddly coppery water. I now wash it in his tub with no issues.

The first day of my period, I am always exhausted. Sometimes I'll sleep for 18 hours throughout the day and never quite wake up. This cycle, I fell asleep at 3am, slept through my morning classes and woke up at 2pm! Which brings us to...

Day 2 – Unfortunately, I left the sponge in the whole time I slept. It was quite full and leaked a bit once I sat down on the toilet. I took it out, washed it, and....couldn't get it back in? I thought maybe my insides were rejecting having something in there for fifteen hours, so I left it out for awhile. When I got back to my dorm room about an hour later, I tried again to no avail. I wound up trimming it a little more, to about the dimensions of the small size.

After the small size went in successfully, I came across another problem I didn't have the first day. It seemed as though the sponge was very slightly soaking in some urine, which I don't quite understand. I read that sometimes your lips are in a position where the urine shoots up a bit, so to adjust them before you pee. I tried this, but the sponge still took some in. I'm not sure if this is sanitary, but now I just squeeze my vagina muscles to get out the excess.

Next problem: I COULD NOT GET IT OUT!! Even though I had taken it in and out multiple times the day before, I could not even find it. I could feel where it was, but when I went to pinch the sponge, I wound up pinching my skin. I freaked out a little but my boyfriend came to the rescue and was able to scoop it out. Thankfully, it was not very full, and he was very understanding! I researched this problem and found that women sometimes sew dental floss through the center. My period usually stops at night, so I left it out for the rest of the night.

Day 2 turned out to be slightly frustrating, but I was determined to find ways to fix my problems rather than give up.

Day 3 – Because I am a late night person, had 200 pages of Harry Potter to read (thank you college) and also decided to watch The Martian with my boyfriend, I did not go to sleep until 6am. Because of this, I woke up at 10am for my 10am class. Nervous I'd have the same problem as the previous day and in quite a rush, I dashed to the bathroom to get the sponge in. It went in smoothly. Walking to class, however, it was very noticeable in there and although I was already very late, I made a pitstop in the bathroom to push it up higher, and I couldn't feel it for the rest of the morning.

Upon getting back from my two classes, I wanted to try taking it out again (the first time since it got "lost"). I struggled, but grabbed some lube and pulled it out just fine. After this, I sat down to write this incredibly long blog post that probably only I will read.

I'm still debating whether I want to use the dental floss method. It seems a good idea, but if lubing up my fingers works, I'd rather stick with that. I read of some horror stories of the floss ripping the sponge in half in the vagina, making it even more difficult to get the pieces out. Overall, this has been an incredible experience. I'm getting to know my vagina better and am more comfortable with it. After a year of sex, I still struggled with the beginning – it was painful – and in the past 3 days of manually putting something in and out of my vagina, sex has become so much easier and much more enjoyable.

And the best outcome of this is the sustainability! Sea sponges are regenerative (Spongebob...a Time Lord?!), and when harvesting, only the top is cut off. This allows the sponge to regrow. I'm thoroughly enjoying this option because of the eliminated health risks, sustainability, and familiarity it brings. Definitely recommend!

UPDATE:
Day 4 – My period is gone!!! I only experienced very, very light spotting. Since I got my period at age 12, I have been prone to periods lasting a week long, so this was an incredible and surprising relief!

Source

Day 3 – Weird things you do when you’re alone

Let's start by saying I am not alone very often. With a roommate and a boyfriend, my alone time is very cherished. Although I usually have so much to do, I always sit back and watch some Netflix. My current binge is Gilmore Girls, suggested by my best friend. I almost never binge-watch a series and finish it in one go, but with Gilmore Girls, all of that has changed. I want to be both Lorelai and Rory, and be their best friend. It's an emotional ride.

I certainly talk to myself – a lot – when I'm alone. I never have pants on. I get kind of sad sometimes. I don't eat. These are the weirdest things I can think of.

Talking to Myself –
When I say "I talk to myself", I mean I have straight up conversations with me, myself and I. I'll actually think of a story I want to tell Donovan or one of my friends, and tell the story to myself how I plan to tell them, even though I was there. Of course, once I do tell them the story, it comes out much different and less cool. I laugh at my jokes, ask myself questions and answer them. I like having company, and I am my best.

No Pants –
This one is self-explanatory. Let's get real, who actually like wearing clothes?

Sadness –
This one is very bothersome. If I'm alone for a certain amount of time, it's very likely I'll get incredibly upset. As I said earlier, I watch a lot of Netflix when I'm alone. I'm most motivated when I'm with Donovan, so no matter how much work I have, I don't do it when I'm alone, even though I have nothing else to do. Sitting in bed watching hours upon hours of Netflix can get pretty lonely, and I soon become unhappy. My stomach starts to hurt, my unsmiling face feels duller than usual and I cry very easily. It's incredibly frustrating, because on a good day, I love being alone! Whenever I'm keeping myself company, I have to remind myself to change the pace and turn off the TV, otherwise the rest of my day will be very sour.

Never Eating –
I absolutely suck at cooking and it intimidates me. When I'm alone, all my taste buds revert back to childhood and I live off of Oreos, cookie dough and Clif bars. Even when I have frozen meals, I have no desire for them! It's the most bizarre thing. I actually have cauliflower in my microwave that's been sitting there for fifteen minutes. Now that I've made it, the smell is making my nose crinkle up. I really love cauliflower, so this makes no sense to me. During the school year, I typically lose an abominable amount of weight because I only ever eat at Donovan's. It's an issue I'm trying to fix.

So, these are my weird things. I probably have many more that I'm not thinking of right now, or even things I don't realize or find odd. Alone time is great and important for the human mind. Get on it.

Day 2 - Write something someone told you about yourself you'll never forget

I'll start off by saying most of my past relationships were emotional (and horrible) to say the least. And I know, I know, every girl says that. But after two abusive relationships, I'm confident that my description holds true.

So, it was on of those assholes - the biggest, I might add - who said the following to me (or at least along the lines) after I brought up my best friend:

"You're still hanging out with her? You usually use people until they're unnecessary to you and move on to the next person who will benefit your needs."

This was a year after I had built up the courage to break up with him (but oddly enough, not to stop talking to him) and although my friends swore it untrue, it's been at the back of my mind ever since. I didn't even believe it myself, but the idea scared me. I found myself telling all of my closest friends and family how much they mean to me as often as I could without it being bizarre. I felt as though I had to prove to everyone, especially myself, otherwise. I suppose in the end, it either made me a better friend or just one who has too many heart to hearts.

On another level, that one text made me realize how very toxic my relationship with the Biggest Asshole was. Once I got over my crying fit, I blocked his number, deleted him off Facebook and cut off all ties to him. Surprise: at least back then, blocking a phone number doesn't work! His texts and calls still came through and it took all I had not to answer - and yes, I definitely slipped up a fair share. From that day on though, I never allowed myself to cry over his words or insinuations. I was on a good ride to deleting him out of my life forever, and I finally succeeded. He texted me one last time while I was cuddling with Donovan, and after my love sent a very passive aggressive message, I never heard from him again. And truthfully, my life has been so much better.

Although it was one of the harshest things someone has said to me, it really changed me for the better. I assured my friends knew how much I loved them and started actively ignoring the Biggest Asshole. Even though it took another year for him to officially stop bothering me, I'm happy the day finally came.

* I haven't been keeping up with my 30 day goals of writing/posting every day, only a few days in! I've been obsessively attending to my reading goals in the meantime.  I'm going to post two a day until I've caught up. *

Day 1 - What are your goals for the next 30 days?

Goals are highly important. They get you through life itself! I struggle making it to class, and it really helps to set a goal. At the beginning of each week, I think, “Okay, all I have to do is make it to this week’s classes. Don’t think about the rest of the semester.” Although this seems simply and impractical, it works surprisingly well!

So let’s see. My goals for the next 30 days. For one, this challenge! I want to be practicing my writing each and every day. I feel as though I’ve been losing my voice and imagination as I immerse more into college courses, and that thought is making me quite sad. I want this to change.

I’m also doing a 30 day yoga challenge, and I’ve set my mind on keeping up with it. Yoga is an incredible thing to make a part of your everyday routine. For me, it releases stress, allows time for myself, and seriously helps my body. I have a life goal of staying fit and flexible. I love and admire flexibility, and as I grow older, it’s slipping away from me. It is, however, still within my grasp and I’m determined to chase after it.

On a similar subject, my next goal will be exercise. Before I met my boyfriend, I was going through a difficult time and a tough depression. Normally, when I was depressed, I’d sit in my room and drink. This particular period though, I went to the gym. I made sure to go every single day whether it was 5 AM or 10 PM after hours upon hours of rehearsal. After having met my loving Donovan, I was spoiled. I was given compliments on my beauty hundreds of times each day, and in came my confidence, out went my obsession with the gym! But I have to remember that although I may be confident, exercising is a healthy practice to keep up and will benefit me in the long run. I’ve been trying to get back at least twice a week, hence why I feel it should be towards the top of my goals!

Some others I won’t embellish on are to keep up my reading habits (I’ve read three brilliant novels in the past 5 days), stop procrastinating, and do well in school! And if these goals work for the month of March, I hope to turn them into life goals! So let’s see how I do, friends. The month of goals starts now.

30 Day Writing Challenge

So, I've had an idea. I've found that I really need to practice writing, and in order to assure I do so every single day, I decided to do a 30 Day Writing Challenge. After researching challenges online, I compiled a list of the ideas that I liked the most, also using six my boyfriend thought of. So here it is:

Day 1- What are your goals for the next 30 days?

Day 2- Write something someone told you about yourself you’ll never forget

Day 3- Weird things you do when you’re alone

Day 4- How have you changed in the last 2 years?

Day 5- Person you like and why you like them

Day 6- Something that you miss

Day 7- Views on drugs and alcohol

Day 8- An area of your life you’d like to improve

Day 9- Things you want to say to an ex (eh?)

Day 10- A date you would love to go on

Day 11- 3 of your personality traits you’re proud of

Day 12- Things that scare you

Day 13- “What if” scenario you frequently think of

Day 14- Things you want to say to 5 different people

Day 15- Talk about your siblings

Day 16- 5 Places you want to visit and why

Day 17- Do you read? What do you like to read?

Day 18- Write about someone who inspires you

Day 19- Share something you struggle with

Day 20- Your last kiss

Day 21- Does your Zodiac sign fit you?

Day 22- Your current relationship

Day 23- If you had to randomly start living in another country, which one and why?

Day 24- If you could have one question answered, what would it be and why?

Day 25- If you could redo anything in your life, would you? If so, what would it be?

Day 26- Where do you want humans to be in 50 years?

Day 27- Where do you think humans will be in 50 years?

Day 28- If you could enter a vessel that completely protected you from the elements and any adverse conditions you might come across, what part of the world would you explore.

Day 29- What changed this month and what do you hope will change next month?

Day 30- What are your goals for the next 30 days?

*Subject to change*


Here starts my 30 day challenge!! Soon....not yet....

My writing is also quite terrible right now because on top of being high, my sister and her three really loud friends are playing Wii in the same room.

I'll be back soon with first day of writing!!!

You know you love me.
xoxo,
nerdynaturegirl

To Blog or Not To Blog...

Believe it or not, it's a pretty tough decision. There are a lot of factors. For one, do I have enough to even write about? Maybe I should take a class on this whole blog thing.

On top of knowing nothing about blogging (I find it cool that this has become an acceptable verb), do I have a voice? I love reading. It's my second favorite activity! (I don't know what my first is yet, so don't ask.) Every time - and I mean every. single. time. - I start a book, I say to my boyfriend, "I just love how he/she writes." I find it to be as important as the plot itself, if not more. Having a good and unique voice can turn a novel into a masterpiece.

So I suppose that determines my final decision. I simply adore writing. And although I have no idea what to do with my life regardless of being a second semester sophomore, I'm starting to think about journalism (preceded by Stage Management, Early Education, Psychology, and English). And what better way to find my voice than blogging? After all, it's basically like keeping a diary. Except I won't tell you my deepest, darkest secrets. Probably.

Stick with me here, friends. I'm only just beginning.

(I'm also more than aware I will probably never gain a follower. Don't laugh, imaginary readers.)